Demon Possession in Modern Times: Religions that create and blame the Devil/God for the actions of the Human

Justifications used by Religious people to not take Self-Responsibility for their actions – just Blame the Devil!!

Masturbation hand more prone to evil

Original Article:

(Written by Paul Johnson)

“A study by the Christian Science Institute of John the Baptist’s Itchy Anxiety shows that people are more prone to do evil with the hand they masturbate with.

While people may think their chicken-choking and clam-stroking is entirely consequence free, a selection of leading questions have led to the startling and largely unfounded conclusion that evil exhibits a greater influence over the hand used to pleasure one’s self.

Asking recently interred prisoners for their views and experiences, missionaries from the institute asked which hand was used to commit their crimes and found that, in as many as a few cases, the same hand was taken by the devil for nefarious purposes as a continuation of Lucifer’s giggle-wiggle.

The survey of evil-doers showed that mere petty evils (such as vandalism or theft) are more prone to be committed by the hand which spanks the monkey or flicks the bean by around 50%, while murder or arson are 90% more likely to be done by the hand of shameful bed-mess.

“It just goes to show that evil is kept in your hand, ready to pounce on a passer by or a shop window,” said Rev. Abernethy Squall.

“While there may seem to be little wrong with a fly little fiddle with your own flumper, bear in mind that the evil is storing itself up in your shuffling hand, to erupt forth in a further denial of your divine nature. Furthermore, you can get Carpal Tunnel.”


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