Support: 5 steps to stop Jealousy

Original Article: http://williamcuffems.wordpress.com/2012/01/20/5-steps-to-stopping-jealousy/

5 Steps to Stopping Jealousy

Jealousy is a jail for us. Why are we feeling this way? Why does this feeling seem to overwhelm and control us? 1. Seeing – In order to stop jealousy, we must first see the cause as to ‘why’ we are becoming jealous. To understand the ‘why’ we must ask ourselves the question…

Do I enjoy being controlled by jealousy?

If the answer to this is yes, then you have not truly seen the destructive nature of jealousy and it may therefore be necessary for you to continue your experiences until you realize the consequences of allowing jealousy to exist within you.

If you are still reading, we can assume you are ready to stop jealousy within yourself, and we can move to the next part.

2. Find the Cause – The cause, or starting point of jealousy is quite simply is a manifested emotion caused by desire for something outside of yourself. Looking more deeply into the experience, one will find that it is actually based in some form of fear – be it fear of being seen as less than others, or perhaps fear of being left alone, or even fear of survival. In any case, the starting point of jealousy is actually fear of some sort. You can see within yourself what is the root cause of your jealousy by asking yourself the question – what am I fearing to lose when I experience jealousy? There may be only one or perhaps a number of fears within yourself. Write them out for yourself.

3. Address the fear – Lets say for example, you are fearing to lose your partner/ relationship. So lets look at that fear to test and see if its a valid belief. First we look at it from the perpective that this fear of losing ones partner is not real. Why would it not be real? Because all fear of loss exists as limitation placed on oneself within the belief that ‘we are limited’. Limitation in not really who we are, it is simply a belief – because in actuality, life is not limited – it only appears so because of our accepted beliefs.

From the other perspective, if we believe the fear is real, then we must believe that we are limited to (and therefore subject to) fear, and thus we cannot change, and so we are stuck in jealousy having no choice in the matter. In that case, jealousy is not able to be stopped. This is a false belief. Jealousy is able to be stopped, and we are not limited. One is only limited if one believes oneself to be so. There is no proof of limitation anywhere to be found, other than within the systems of beliefs we have created for ourselves.

To give a hypothetical explanation – lets take another example – you let go of that partner you are jealous of and the next day you find someone that opens a whole new world of opportunity and happiness for you. You can see how limiting yourself by allowing jealousy limits your full potential in that, if you had allowed your jealousy to control the experience and gone into the consequence of that limitation, you would not have allowed yourself the opportunity to experience meeting the new person. Its interesting that in our minds we are always gambling and usually taking the safest bet. This is an indicator we are being controlled by fear.

4. Self-Forgiveness – So we realize fear and limitation are simply false perceptions we hold on to within our minds. And if that’s all they are, then we can simply let go of these false beliefs. We do that through self-forgiveness within the realization that we no longer believe in limitation or allow ourselves to be controlled by fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself in the belief that I am limited.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself in the belief that I am not able to let go of and stop fear within myself.

Now that we have addressed the root cause of the jealousy and see how it is based in fear and limits us, we can easily stop being jealous because we understand how it works. In doing so, we free ourselves from the limitation and fear belief systems.

5. Change Yourself – So when the feeling or emotion of jealousy comes up within us, we simply stop and breathe, realizing that we no longer accept and allow these false beliefs to control us. I am not limited or controlled by fear, therefore I will not allow such feelings and emotions to control me. You see, its quite simple, you have stopped jealousy within yourself and you are now free from that limited belief system.

Realize, in order to fully stop jealousy, fears, and limitation within oneself it may take some time and likely more in depth self-forgiveness on your part. Don’t expect it to be over instantaneously. I have outlined the principles to give you a really good head-start in understanding how it works. The effectiveness of removing jealousy within yourself will depend on how extensive it is within yourself, as well as how willing and committed you are to changing yourself. These same principles can be applied for many other feelings
and emotional reactions as well. I am happy to assist with this, but, as most people, you will likely require more specific support. This is offered through the Desteni-I-Process course for which I am currently a recruiter, and I highly recommend it, if one is serious about supporting oneself to improve ones life as a whole.

Further Reading:

Faced with Feelings of Envy

About Andrea Rossouw